Loki Black
by sakurademonalchemist
Summary: After he fell through the Veil, Sirius awoke back in his eleven year old body. There was just one problem. He was four years in the past! Given a second chance to help his godson, Sirius pretends to be his own son in an effort to ruin Dumbledore's plans. Will Hogwarts be standing when Loki returns? Or will McGonagall finally retire when she finds out who Loki really is?
1. Chapter 1

The last thing Sirius Black saw as he fell through the veil of death was the anguished look on his godson's face as Remus kept the boy from joining him in death.

Harry had so few people who genuinely loved him and cared about his opinion. Dumbledore sure as hell didn't.

He closed his eyes...and felt something kick him firmly in the arse.

_**You do not belong here, Sirius Orion Black.**_

His eyes jerked open, and he looked around.

He wasn't in the Ministry anymore. He was still in London, but he wasn't in the Ministry. And his eyesight seemed different. It took him a moment to realize what it was.

He was shorter than before.

Passing by a window, he had to hide a gape. He looked like an ickle firstie! Swiping a newspaper from a nearby bin told him the date.

August 24, 19XX.

The same year Harry would start Hogwarts.

'What the bloody hell is going on?'

_**Those that do not belong in the Veil are given a second chance. Use this opportunity wisely, Sirius Black. If you alter the timeline too much, you will not survive to help your godson in the war to come.**_

Sirius would have asked how he was supposed to do that, but looking at his new body, he had a good idea.

He would infiltrate Hogwarts as a new student. Sometimes the letters didn't reach the intended recipient, or they were waylaid. It was rare, but it _did_ occasionally happen.

Which is why Gringotts had a way of enlisting students who didn't get the letter in time. That rule applied mostly to pure bloods and half-bloods from a pure-blood family.

Luckily, his wand was still in his vault. He had a spell placed on it by the goblins in case he ever lost it to return to his main vault.

Not even Ministry spells would prevent something like that from working.

He went straight to the Leaky Cauldron, and went into Diagon.

He already knew what to do in order to reclaim his vaults. The goblins didn't even give him a second look, until he told them that he was there to claim his vaults, without the key to prove it.

The goblin took him aside, since if he didn't have any vaults he would be arrested within seconds.

The moment the door closed, Sirius did the one thing he had sworn never to do unless he absolutely had no other choice.

"I, Lord Sirius Black, Claim the Lordship over the Noble and Ancient House of Black, and all that it pertains therein."

The effect was immediate. The goblin gave him a startled look as the magic took effect, proving without a doubt that he was in fact Lord Black, Head of the Noble House of Black. His grandfather had turned over the title of head to the one family member who had at least shown some backbone against the Dark Lord. Sirius had never claimed it before because he had never wanted to use the power it gave him.

"I am sorry Lord Black, we did not recognize you," apologized Ripclaw.

"Not your fault. I have no idea how I ended up looking like an eleven year old, but I intend to make use of it."

"What do you have in mind?" asked Ragnok, the head of Gringotts.

"I intend...to pull one over the old goat. Dumbledore will ruin Harry's life if I don't do something about it. Besides, I will share the look on his face when he learns that the House of Black and Potter are forever out of his reach with the entire goblin clans for your help."

Ragnok grinned ferally. The goblin clans had it out for Dumbledore, mostly because he had always sided with the idiots who promoted racial bias.

Sirius Black, through the efforts of Lily, had at least treated the goblins and their kin with respect. He always sought to end their meetings quickly, mostly because he knew they had better things to do with their time than to listen to him whining.

They had a mutual agreement. Get in, get your business done, and get out.

It didn't take long to file him under 'Loki Black', and to create a false back story.

As far as the Ministry was concerned, Loki was the illegitimate son of Sirius Black, who recently learned of his heritage and since it would be on Ministry records that Sirius had just claimed his true title as Head of the Black family, Loki would inherit everything by default.

If anyone asked, his mother died in childbirth and he was raised by a now dead Pure Blood family with no idea of his heritage.

It was flawless.

And armed with his wand which he reclaimed from his vault, he went shopping around Diagon in broad daylight for the first time in over a decade.

Since his wand was over seven years old, the trackers that the Ministry put on it were gone forever, and there wasn't a chance any new ones could be placed on it without the consent of his 'father', which they would never get. Not to mention the fact that as the son of Walpurga Black, he knew every counter spell to the tracers.

He was going to have lots of fun with that.

He put to use his second chance to get a heads up on Dumbledore and any plans he had for Harry.

First thing he was going to do was keep Ron from ruining Harry's school years. Hermione had complained to Sirius about Ron keeping Harry back, since he was the only one who would actually listen to her rants.

Ron Weasly was a stereotypical pure blood wizard, who barely gave any real respect to the non humans and muggleborns. And he was incredibly lazy.

Sirius remembered vividly Ron's complaints about cleaning the house. Everyone else had helped with minimal fuss, but Ron bitched about it every time. More than once, Sirius and the twins had to hex him so he would shut up.

No, Ron had to go. Hermione was decent enough, once she loosened up. And the twins were worth keeping.

Once that was done, he went shopping for all the necessities. A trunk with multiple rooms (where he threw all his new books in, to be sorted by the magic for him) potions gear for intermediate brewers, new robes, the works. He was about to leave Horizontic Ally when he spotted something unusual in the exotic pet store. Very few knew about Horizontic Alley unless they were pure bloods from old families.

Harry never knew about it, because Dumbledore never let anyone tell him.

Loki was going to change a lot of things about how Harry grew up. Starting with the train ride to Hogwarts.

* * *

Loki saw his godson, and was shocked by how skinny and frail he was. Harry had always mentioned that he had never had a decent meal until first year, but he had no idea that his godson had meant that the Dursleys never fed him properly. And the way he flinched spoke of hard abuse.

Time to change things.

"Hi! Are you a first year too?" he asked, feigning cheerfulness when what he really wanted to do was rip the Dursley family limb from limb.

"Yeah. Never been on a train before. My name's Harry."

"Loki Black. I heard how to get onto the platform. Need any help?"

Harry's look of relief made Loki burn with rage inside. Spotting the Weasly red hair, Loki lead Harry to the pillar as he explained how to get through. He even went first to demonstrate, popping his head out to the startled amusement of Harry.

Once they were situated, Loki popped out for a bit as if to speak with someone he knew, when in reality he went looking for Neville and Hermione.

She seemed highly impressed with his summoning charm (which was fourth year, but she didn't know that) and when he made it back, he found that he had just missed the twins.

Harry while uncomfortable about the full carriage, soon got into a discussion of gardening with Neville. That relaxed him enough that he didn't really flinch when the door slammed open.

Loki hid a grin. He had beaten Ron by a good five minutes, and helped Harry find a friend in Neville, who was as nervous as he was.

Ron scowled when he realized there wasn't any room for him. He stalked off to find another compartment.

Loki had successfully kept Ron from ruining Harry's chances. And if he was lucky, he would be able to head off Ron's bad study habits.

Harry was smarter than anyone realized.

While they rode the train to the school, Loki talked about what he knew about the houses.

This time, he was going to help more than Harry to fit in. Hermione never truly liked Gryffindor until Harry and Ron became her only real friends. Neville was the Cowardly Lion and Ron was far more suited to Slytherin than he knew.

Plus he could already see the chaos of Ron being a Slytherin would cause, and he would enjoy every minute of it.

The door only opened twice after Ron vanished. Once for Draco and the other time for the trolley witch.

Loki took great pleasure cutting Draco off before he ruined any chances of befriending Harry. There was nothing Loki would love more than to infuriate his cousin Cissy by having her son befriend Harry Potter and turning out like he had.

Oh he had plans for the hat to consider. Plans that would make people wonder if his namesake was walking amongst them. The twins would love it!

* * *

"Black, Loki!"

_What is this? I didn't expect to sort you twice Sirius Black._

Oh you are going to love what I have in mind for the school. I'm going to turn this place on it's head and possibly cause Dumbledore to be kicked out for mental insanity.

_...I would tell the headmaster, but this seems like it would be far more interesting. What ideas do you have in mind?_

Just a few place changes.

_Get on with it, we don't have all day._

Ron Weasly in Slytherin, Hermione Granger in Ravenclaw, Neville Longbottom in Hufflepuff, and Draco Malfoy in Gryffindor where I can keep and eye on him and possibly save him from turning into an ass like his parents.

_Let me look into their minds, but I will take your recommendation under consideration...provided you do me a favor in return._

What?

_Try to unite the school. I have been trying to do it for years, but Dumbledore seems to thwart all my efforts before they even have a chance to mature._

Done! Enjoy the chaos I'll leave in my wake!

_Have fun in..._

"**Gryffindor!"**

Loki sat next to the twins, who grinned at him. Next went Hermione, and seconds upon having the hat on her head, it yelled Ravenclaw. Clearly the hat was agreeing with the suggesting Loki made, because things only went downhill from there.

Neville went to Hufflepuff, Draco went to Gryffindor to the shock of the school, and to make matters even more shocking Ron ended up in _Slytherin_.

The twins were beyond shocked at that one. But it was Harry that he was really concerned with. Once, Harry had mentioned that the hat nearly put him in Slytherin. It took ten minutes for the hat to yell Gryffindor, where he ended up being frog marched by a pair of chanting twins to sit across from Loki.

That night, he went to sleep with the biggest smile on his face since James had died. He hadn't had any real reason to smile in years.

* * *

Loki got up early for one reason, and one reason only.

True pranksters always got up around sunrise to cause chaos, and the twins were no exception. His grin once they saw him only lead them to grin evilly back. Clearly he was of the same mind.

"So gents, who is first on the list of people to prank this fine morning?"

"Filch," they replied in sync.

"Might I suggest a better target? Say the woman with the ten inch spike pole up her ass?"

They raised an eyebrow and Loki elaborated.

"McGonagall."

"And what would a fellow prankster recommend?"

"Catnip. Though from what I hear, she checks everything for it since the Marauders used to hit her with it every other week."

Their eyes bugged out.

"You know about the Marauders?"

"My dad was Padfoot."

Loki was gratified to see them bowing and saying they weren't worthy.

"I also happen to know that the son of Prongs just started school too. I believe his name is _Harry Potter..._" hinted Loki, and the twins grew identical fish expressions.

And with that, Loki became their accomplice. It didn't hurt that he remembered most of the pranks he always wished he could have unleashed on the school, but never had a chance to since he graduated when he came up with them.

Draco was the second first year to come down, and he was still in shock over the sorting. His father would no doubt be displeased about the news.

All the plans they came up with revolved around him taking over Slytherin and forming a power base. Ravenclaw as well, just in case.

But Gryffindor was the furthest choice from their mind.

"Morning Draco," said Loki cheerfully.

The shock of his placement was enough to dislodge whatever stick Lucius had shoved up his son's arse. Getting it out was another story.

"What's good about it?" he asked.

"You do realize you're not the only Black to be sorted into Gryffindor, right?"

"The last one was disowned!" Draco nearly wailed.

"Actually, my dad was disowned by his mother, but his grandfather left the Lordship to him anyway without telling her. He's the current head of the Black family, even if his mother and father disowned him."

"How do you know that?" asked Draco, with some measure of hope in his eyes.

"Because the goblins told me when I came to see if I had any vaults. Apparently Sirius Black had a...fling...with a pure blood witch and didn't know that she became pregnant."

"What happened to your mother?" asked Draco. The twins listened it with interest.

"Died from childbirth, according to the family who took me in. they died last year, and I didn't know who my father was until I went to Gringotts."

Draco's expression at least turned to hope, even if he knew his parents wouldn't approve of the fact that he was a Lion and not a snake.

At least he could negate most of the pranks caused by the twins now that they believed he was the son of Padfoot.

When Harry came down, Loki came up with a brilliant idea. Appearance was everything in the pure blood community, and no one was more fashion conscious than the son of Narcissa Black.

So he pushed Draco towards Harry, and dropped a mild suggestion that worked out better than he hoped. Draco dragged Harry back to the dorm bathrooms and fifteen minutes later the boy hero came out far more presentable than he had earlier.

He had no idea first appearances counted for a great deal on the first day. Most Slytherins wouldn't _dare _step out into the Great Hall with their hair unbrushed or their uniform scruffy looking. Most girls put on as many jewels and make up as they could, just so they could outshine their peers!

Harry came down the stairs the second time, looking far more presentable than he had earlier. His hair, while untameable by brush, was now a bit more uniform. His outfit, which had been crooked, was now straightened and suited him. He had forgone the tie altogether, since it felt like a collar. Even his glasses looked more presentable.

At least he didn't look like a ragamuffin.

Loki grinned at his cousin.

"Trust the son of Narcissa Black to turn a scruffy dog into a presentable bloodhound."

Draco preened at the praise. While surprised Harry had never actually bothered to brush his hair in his life, he had been very relieved by the fact that the boy was borderline OCD with his hygiene and cleanliness.

* * *

When they made their way down to the great hall, lead by the twins, they found a different reception than they had been counting on.

Loki noted the looks people shot at Harry, most of which were speculative. He was openly sitting with a Malfoy and a Black, both of which were from Dark families. The twins were sitting with Lee, so there weren't any Light families anywhere near him.

Loki got into a healthy debate on the whole Light VS Dark issue with Draco and Harry, to Draco's delight. Harry, being raised by things that could barely qualify as human, was surprisingly more open about the whole issue, not understanding why people made such a large deal about it all.

Once the schedules were passed out, Loki openly groaned.

Snape, McGonagall AND Binns. The gods must hate him to make him suffer through all three. Snape would definitely be gunning for both him and Harry because of the pranks James and him had played during school.

McGonagall might see him as Sirius Black, but he doubted that. And Binns...enough said. He drank the scorching hot coffee and prepared to meet his maker.


	2. Chapter 2

Loki Black was not happy. Since his little prank placed Ron where he should have been all along, and saved his cousin from turning into a carbon copy of Lucius, the school was in an uproar.

The twins thought it was a great prank, since they didn't like Ron much anyway even if he was their brother. Even Percy was more interesting.

Of course sometimes Loki amused them greatly by giving the most ridiculous alibis they had ever heard...which McGonagall, for some reason, believed.

Which had Harry wondering about the collective intelligence of the magical communities. Loki would cheerfully help Harry lighten up while Draco watched on in amusement. Though where Loki found such hallucinogenic plants, he would never know.

(It was in one of Sprout's...secret...greenhouses that the Marauders found by accident while making the Map. Needless to say she planned to hang whoever kept raiding it.)

To make things more interesting, Loki managed to drag Hermione into one of their more...amusing study sessions. According to his 'caretakers' these special plants would help prepare them for Divination.

According to the rumor mill, Trelawny went to Sprout for her incense. Which explained far more than it didn't about the Divination teacher and her teaching methods. And why she kept seeing omens of death every year.

"I can't believe you did that! You could have gotten into so much trouble!" Hermione scolded Loki, who kept on grinning.

"I can tell McGonagall's type from a mile away. The worst she would have me do is lines!"

_'Which is true, since I've done far, far worse and the most she ever did was hang me from the Quidditch Posts naked all day long. Man was that embarrassing!'_

* * *

For the entire week, Loki proceeded to break down walls between houses. To the shock of the teachers, because of his little prank, Draco wasn't a clone of Lucius.

Instead he decided to emulate his mother more. That actually earned him more friends than he would have had in Slytherin, where his father's name was power.

It was quite sobering to Draco when Loki cheerfully pointed out that had he gone to Slytherin, then he would have run to Daddy at every opportunity if things didn't go his way. But in Gryffindor, his father's power wasn't worth squat. Like Loki told Draco, he could easily _dwarf_ his father's power base by befriending Harry and announcing an alliance with the Boy-who-lived. He could create his own allies and proudly take over the Malfoy name.

Draco already saw a difference in how people treated him. Before, when he met people on the street he always saw cold and calculating glares or barely hidden dislike.

But now, people gave him much friendlier looks and were more willing to chat with him. The attitude was far more civil than he was used to. Luckily Loki was more than happy to guide him on how to react to the change.

No one seemed to know how to react to Loki though.

While it was well known to his former teachers that he was rather...promiscuous...when he was a teenager, they were still in shock that Sirius Black had a son. Particularly since Loki looked like a carbon copy of him.

Then again, Harry looked almost exactly like James had, just with green eyes. They were willing to take a chance that Loki was Sirius' illegitimate son.

Loki couldn't wait to see his past self's look when he realized _exactly_ who he was. He was planning a trip to Azkaban solely so he could see that look. Fortunately they didn't ban cameras in there.

* * *

The first flying lesson. Loki was eager to fly, but Draco and Harry weren't for one important reason. Ron Weasly was going to be in the same class.

It turned out that Loki's joke had put Ron exactly where he belonged all along. While he was more cunning that he admitted, he was also the most prejudice bastard in the school. He would loudly mock the muggleborn students, to Draco's disgust. Draco didn't mind Hermione's company, and they appeared to be on the fast track to a long and very happy marriage when they graduated.

Loki remembered well the arguments Hermione had with Ron. The boy was so lazy he could barely keep up with her. Draco, at least, loved ready as much as she did.

After allowing Harry to repeat the incident that got him on the team originally, Loki decided a celebratory prank was in order. The twins were more than happy to be the scapegoats once he explained _exactly_ what he had in mind.

* * *

"LOKI BLACK, PUT SOME CLOTHES ON THIS INSTANT!" yelled McGonagall.

Loki secretly suspected she hit the bottle after realizing he hadn't changed a bit. (Or in her mind, was far, far too much like his 'father' for her sanity.)

"NEVER! Besides I got another lap in the castle before I win the bet!" he cackled back.

"STUPEFY!" yelled Snape.

Loki nicked a nearby piece of tableware and used the reflective surface to send the spell back at him. Snape fell into a nearby bowl of eggs (which no one was willing to eat afterwards, though Ron horrified his dormmates by succeeding in a bet to eat them anyway. He earned fifty galleons and a trip to the hospital wing to pump his stomach) which solidified in his hair and took a week to get out.

Loki cackled as he dodged teacher's spells and grinned as Harry and Draco successfully hid him from the teachers. The twins were cackling like mad men as it took them four hours until Loki appeared in the hall _with_ clothes. The guys cheered when he entered. Word had spread that he had knocked out Snape with his own spell.

Needless to say, the girls were giving him some rather speculative looks.

Loki cheerfully did his lines for a week, which seemed to unnerve McGonagall more than silence.

* * *

Loki found Quirrel. Harry had mentioned off hand once that the man was possessed by Voldemort himself, and he had tried to kill him during his first match.

The second Harry got too close to the Slytherin stand, Loki moved. The broom bucked once, before Loki pushed Quirrel hard from behind breaking his eye contact.

He underestimated his own strength. Quirrel ended up careening _off_ the stand, and was almost saved by someone grabbing a loose end of his cloak.

The jerking action caused the turban to fall off, revealing Voldemort in his misshapen glory. Out of shock, the witch who was holding him let go.

Dumbledore managed to keep Quirrel from dying from the fall, but it was already too late.

Aurors came in, and Voldemort took full control. It took the combined efforts of the Aurors and Dumbledore to get rid of the parasite.

A week later, Amelia Bones sent an Auror who had been restricted to Paper duty for the next year to fill the position.

* * *

"I don't understand! How did Quirrel fall?" asked Hermione later. That was the one detail no one could figure out.

Loki walked up with food.

"I did it. Bastard was trying to hex Harry into falling off his broom. A fall from that height would have been fatal."

"So how did he survive long enough...?" asked Neville.

"Dumbledore had enough time to get there thanks to that witch."

"Did...Did you know he was possessed?" asked Neville.

It seemed being placed in Hufflepuff did wonders for his confidence, particularly after Sprout sent a letter to his Grandmother about the fact that Neville was an undiscovered Herbology prodigy.

"I knew something was wrong about him. The possession, however, was the last thing on my mind."

"You are going to get into so much trouble! What if they...?"

"The only people who know are you. Besides, I got out of there once I broke his eye contact."

Which set Hermione off about certain hexes that required eye contact, and how had he gotten up there so quickly before anyone noticed the problem?

Loki smiled fondly at her. Over the past couple of months, he had slowly been breaking Hermione of her rule-abiding problems by dragging her into prank sessions with the twins. She was so eager for friends not wanting to use her for homework help, that she didn't realize what he was doing.

It was because of their impromptu prank idea sessions that she was slowly losing her nervousness. Every single one of the people in their study group would listen to her advice and do the work themselves...but she still checked their work for grammatical issues.

Which was why after the Quidditch match, Loki realized he had bypassed the event which had cemented Hermione's place in Harry's trio of friends.

The troll had shown up, yes, but this time Hermione had actually BEEN at the table. While Ron had insulted her again, he hadn't expected a trio of Ravenclaws to stand up for their fellow bookworm and hexed him to the Hospital Wing. The female prefect for Ravenclaw was alerted through Loki and Harry and she retrieved Hermione in time for the feast.

The day after Ron got a very angry Howler from Molly about treating girls with respect, and if she got another letter about him insulting a girl to the point of tears that she would bring him straight home!

The twins, who normally tuned out Howlers after second year, turned to Ron with an angry gleam in their eyes. While they may prank people almost to the point of humiliation, they didn't tolerate bullying.

For the next week, Ron ended up being pranked five ways to Sunday. He had insulted one of their group, and that called for retribution!

Hermione, when she realized how much she meant to their ragtag group, had actually burst into tears of joy.

* * *

Loki grinned evilly. Today was the day. Almost everyone had gone home except for him and Harry, which meant he could prank him. Nothing too serious, considering the date, but still!

Loki took his large bucket and let fly!

"ARGH!" yelped Harry.

Loki cracked up. He had charmed the bucket to remain cold, and collected enough snow to throw at him.

"Merry Christmas Harry!" cackled Loki.

"Did you have to throw snow on me? And how did you keep it from melting anyway?" he asked, crossly. The snowflakes were melting in his bed!

"Ultra strength cooling charm," said Loki grinning as he held up a box.

"What is that?" asked Harry warily.

"Open up and see!" said Loki grinning.

Harry did so cautiously, considering _who_ he was dealing with. And he gaped in shock.

"Is this...?"

"The best Owl care kit money could by. Includes metal claw holder so she can gouge your enemies eyes out. Included is a potion, but no one would tell me what it does. Considering the place I got it, it won't harm you owl in any way."

He had gotten it months ago in Horizontic Alley in the pet shop. He knew _exactly_ what that potion did as it was a gag one (All the TRUE Marauders memorized prank and gag potions, even if it only worked on animals) but he wanted to surprise Harry.

The effect on Hedwig would be hilarious, given she already viewed Harry as her nestling. Ron was in for a rude awakening.

He dragged Harry downstairs, where he had another present waiting. The first was the appetizer, now he was going in for the kill.

Harry's eyes widened at the sight of the presents, and the two went into attack mode. Harry got presents from everyone in his study group.

Fred and George gave Loki and Harry a book on new pranks, Hermione a copy of the complete _Lord of the Rings _(after Loki told her he had only read magic books growing up, and had never had a chance to read the actual book) which Loki dove into. He was a closet bookworm, but after years of reading magic texts his enthusiasm for libraries full of the stuff had died down to the bare minimum levels. Draco sent Harry a copy of pure blood social laws (basically what not to do at a pure blood party) and a copy of the Black family history to Loki. He kept it, but upon later reading he discovered a few things even _he_ didn't know, and he grew up in the family! Blaise Zabini and Daphne Greengrass, the lone Slytherins in the study group, sent them something highly valuable.

A list of families that sided or associated with the Potters and Blacks. It was something Harry would desperately need in the war to come.

Neville sent them some rare if easy to care for plants. To Loki's amusement, Neville sent him Aconite while Harry got an unusual bonsai tree.

(Loki later discovered the reason it was so unusual. It could speak snake tongue, and the more you spoke the better it did.)

The Christmas dinner was a huge success, as Loki and the twins pranked everyone. Mostly with color charms that turned people's hair into the seasonal colors.

McGonagall was so drunk she didn't even care.

Snape was looking at everyone in suspicion, probably because Loki actually _tried_ to mend the fences by sending him some extremely rare and expensive potion ingredients under his old nickname. Naturally Snape knew it was him, but he'd wait before he confronted him.

(Which he did, the next time he had Loki in detention alone.)

* * *

"Mr. Black, why did you send me those ingredients?" he asked coldly. Something was up, and he was going to get to the bottom of it.

"To mend fences and create a new alliance of course!" chirped Loki.

Snape couldn't actually _do_ anything about him, because no one would believe that Loki was in fact Sirius Black come back to haunt him.

Snape at least could get the mend fences part. Alliances were new to him though.

"Explain."

"I know for a fact that Sirius Black and James Potter harassed you nonstop during your school years. And in some twisted sense of payback you have transferred it to the younger generation. However, you are a teacher and you should know better. If you're going to make someone's life hell, then at the very least do it to the people _responsible_ for it!"

"Black is in prison as you may recall," Snape said dryly.

"Not for long if you help me prove he was innocent all along."

Snape looked at him with interest.

"Oh?"

"The Weasly brat's rat. If you were to say...cast and Animagus Revealer on him..."

Snape took the hint. The rat often entered his office which annoyed him to no end. He had docked five points every time he saw that rat.

Five minutes later he returned with the rat, who he had hit with a stunner.

His eyes widened when the spell revealed the 'rat' wasn't a rat at all.

Angry, he took the floo powder and called the DMLE immediately. A grown man was sleeping in the same room as eleven year old boys. There wasn't a chance in hell he was going to allow that one to pass.

An hour later Amelia Bones came in and hit the rat with a spell that forces an Animagus to reveal their human form.

And gaped.

"Peter Pettigrew?"

Snape was scowling, and then brought Loki in.

"How did you know he was an Animagus Black? And don't lie to me."

"Fred and George mentioned that Ron's rat was over ten years old which was impossible unless he wasn't a rat at all. Rats don't live past seven years at least unless it was being taken very good care of. From what I've seen of Ron, that is very unlikely. And most treatments would be very expensive and no where near the Weasly Price Range."

Snape admitted the brat was entirely correct. Ron barely paid any attention to that rat.

"I think the real question you should be asking is why he felt the need to pretend he was a rat all this time."

* * *

A week later, Loki and Harry were being taken to a court room for Sirius' overdue trial. It was more of a show than an actual trial, since Pettigrew had admitted under Veritaserum and had his memories removed after they discovered a true Dark Mark on his right arm.

Sirius walked out a free man though he was more interested in Loki than Harry.

"I suppose I should thank you for revealing that rat...even if I don't know who the hell you are."

Loki smirked.

"Who I am can wait until break. There's no chance in hell I'm telling who I am in front of so many witnesses."

* * *

In the spirit of mischief, Loki decided to go into the corridor alone. Time to really screw up Dumbledore's plans. He wasn't going to allow Harry to deal with this crap if he could help it.

Getting past Fluffy was tragically easy. For once those awful singing lessons his mother forced him to when he was six became useful. Even if he was a bit out of practice.

Fluffy, on the other hand, was whimpering.

There was a reason why Walpurga canceled those lessons early.

Loki dropped down, and with a well placed Incendio charm went to the next room. It took him a few minutes to get past the keys, five to beat the chess pieces, and two minutes analyzing the wards to recognize the spell and reverse it.

He knew what ward it was, and a simple "Finite" got rid of it. He suspected the troll would have been added had he not gotten rid of Quirrel so early.

Remembering what Harry said about the mirror, he stood in front of it to see what he desired.

James alive with Lily and Harry, Remus no longer having his 'furry' problem and him with a hot wife who didn't mind being kinky.

At least, that was what he expected to see.

Fred and George were grinning beside him, with more pranks than he had ever dreamed of seeing. Harry was actually smiling and had filled out. Remus didn't have his werewolf problem, but there was less gray than he remembered. James and Lily were beside him standing proud...and Snape was behind them in a straight jacket.

But what really made him grin was the scene behind that. McGonagall running around stark naked, clearly drunk off her ass and having finally given up trying to contain their madness.

While he was grinning he focused on the stone. 'Loki' winked back at himself, then placed the stone in his right pocket.

It took him a good five minutes to get back up and Fluffy actually backpedaled away from him in case he started singing again.

Loki grinned evilly. He had forgotten how...effective...his singing was at convincing people to back off.


	3. Chapter 3

Sirius was eagerly awaiting the train for two reasons. The most prominent one was Harry, who he had officially adopted. Dealing with Petunia for his things had been more unpleasant than his mother the one time she tried to arrange a marriage for him.

The other was the mystery brat Loki. The one who _claimed_ to be his son.

What most people didn't know was that the tapestry in Grimmauld place was self-updating, and after checking it _twice_, he knew something was up.

Loki didn't show up anywhere on the thing. And then there was the fact that for some reason he had all the powers of the Head of the Black family, when he had never claimed them.

* * *

Once Harry got used to the Black house, Sirius confronted Loki in private.

"Might as well get this over with. First and foremost, I know for a fact I'm not your son. Secondly, before you get your knickers in a twist, I _am_ a Black."

Sirius gaped.

"How did...?"

"You know the Department of Mysteries? And the Veil of Death?"

"The old way of executing criminals? What about it?"

Loki held up a certain wand, and Sirius blinked before his jaw dropped.

"Why do you have my wand?"

Loki smirked as with a single wave, sparks flew out.

"Because it's not just _your_ wand anymore."

"That's impossible. Wands don't accept two owners, especially when the previous one is still alive!"

"Four years from now, you went into the Ministry in an attempt to rescue Harry from a Death Eater trap. Bellatrix cast a killing curse, and in dodging you fall into the Veil. What happened next was I woke up in the past with the body of an ickle firstie in time for Harry's first year."

"You mean to tell me you're...?"

"I, Sirius Orion Black, swear that everything I say is in fact the truth."

Magic kicked in, providing a solid oath it was in fact true.

"Congratulations Sirius. You got yourself out of Azkaban and sent that damn rat where he belonged."

Sirius did the only sane thing he could think of when confronted with himself from the future in the body of a child.

He fainted. Loki took plenty of pictures.

When Sirius woke up, he found himself in a very compromising position with Loki before him...holding a camera.

"Damn. That only proves you weren't joking. Only _I _would think of something like this."

"Look at the bright side. This time _you_ will be there to head off Dumbledore's annoying life-or-death schemes for Harry. And that horse bitch will never hurt him again."

Sirius grinned at that.

"Oh, she got what she deserved."

The evil grins that appeared on their faces would have made Snape run for his sanity.

* * *

Loki was helping Harry go through the trunks that Sirius confiscated from Petunia when he found a very familiar bottle. It was a gift from James' godfather, who had been in Arabia during his birthday. A year later the man died.

Lily had confiscated it, believing it was some illegal liquor. James had forgotten about it completely, despite Sirius asking about it later.

What Lily didn't know was that it wasn't liquor or any kind of potion. It was something much more interesting and extremely hard to find.

Any wizard worth his salt would recognize that seal.

Loki grinned widely.

"Open the seal Harry!" said Loki eagerly.

"Why? What's in it?"

Loki looked at Sirius with a grin.

"You want to tell him or should I?"

"That bottle...contains a very hard to find genie. Most bottles like that usually contain male genies. Females are even harder to come by."

Harry's eyes widened.

"Why did my mother have a female genie in her trunk? Is there something I need to know about mum?"

Sirius and Loki both burst out laughing. It took a good five minutes for the giggles to die down long enough for Sirius to explain.

"Your mother took that from your father, thinking it was liquor. He never bothered to ask for it back, hence why it was still in _her_ trunk."

"Are genies sentient?" he asked cautiously.

"Very."

Horrified of the thought that a sentient being was inside a bottle for all these years, Harry quickly uncorked it.

The fog took a second to clear, but when it did they were all gaping.

"Um...did old Artie know the girl inside was only twelve?"

The girl in question glared.

"You think the genies clans would allow a minor out? Especially with a grown wizard?"

The other two winced, but Harry broke the tense atmosphere by asking "What's your name?"

Her glare lessened.

"Isis."

"Nice to meet you Isis. My name's Harry!" he said cheerfully.

And just like that, a fourth person came to live at the house. Isis was clearly very surprised to learn that Harry didn't have any wishes, but would rather have a friend instead. As a result, she became a transfer student pretending to be from the Middle East.

* * *

During the holidays, they had a few odd problems.

First and foremost was the Malfoy's insane house elf trying to...protect...Harry. A few words with Kreacher kept Dobby from trying anything worse. Since Sirius was officially the Head of House, he couldn't insult him in plain sight.

It was Harry who suggested Kreacher have his own room to keep things in. After the elf removed the portrait of Sirius' mum, they were all much happier.

Walburga got someone to bitch too, Kreacher got his Mistress for himself, and everyone else got peace and quiet.

Aside from the few times Loki forgot to charm the room when he made certain Red letters for Draco to drop on his parents.

Draco made sure to treat the things like a bomb, after Loki gave him a sampling of what was in it. He dropped them in his parents room during the times they forgot to silence it...and ran like hell towards the floo.

The look on Narcissa and Lucius' face was _priceless_, especially since Sirius kept them from getting on their nerves by asking innocently if they wanted a private showing.

There was a very, very good reason Loki's dormmates stunned him within seconds of him singing in the shower. They wanted their hearing intact, thank you.

The second was Lockhart. Upon reading the book about werewolves, he told his charges that he wasn't going to waste his money on complete trash.

Seeing the venomous and positively murderous looks of the witches (and sympathetic ones from the wizards) he clarified.

"I know for a bloody fact that there are no charms to reverse the werewolf curse. So either he is an idiot or he's lying his ass off. Has anyone actually _read_ these books without concentrating on his looks?"

Several witches looked abashed.

"Besides, I have it on good authority that his...ahem...wand is smaller than average."

That caught their attention.

"How would you know that?"

"Knew one of his dormmates in school. Said the bloke was always more interested in himself than any witch, and that his wand was the smallest he had ever seen."

With that, Sirius broke the spell Lockhart had cast on himself to make witches fall for him. There was a very, very good reason why he was so good with the Memory charm, and it certainly wasn't because of all the things he _claimed_ to have done.

* * *

"OW!" yelped Harry.

Isis and Loki weren't much better. Someone had closed up the barrier at the last second and they had crashed.

"We missed the train. It would be almost impossible to catch it now."

"What do we do?"

"We have three choices. Knight Bus, Portkey to Hogsmeade, or cab to the bookshop outside the Leaky Cauldron."

Isis and Harry looked at each other.

"Cab."

An hour later (and several hundred galleons converted into pounds lighter) McGonagall came into the cauldron with a cross look.

"Why aren't you...three...on the train?"

"Barrier closed up a good five minutes before eleven, and we didn't make it through. I think it was caused by an elf," said Loki.

"What brought you to that conclusion?"

"A house elf showed up during the break and admitted to withholding my mail. He was quite clearly insane, so blocking the barrier wouldn't be too hard a stretch."

"...Point. Very well grab your bags...wait bags?"

Loki looked sheepish.

"I kinda convinced them to join me in a raid of the bookstore next to the cauldron for an hour."

"A raid?" she asked tartly.

Harry brought out what was clearly a muggle fiction book.

"A raid, I/E buying any fiction that looked even remotely interesting so we wouldn't get bored this year. It took us less than a week to finish the one Hermione gave us, and lack of better material gave us more than enough reason to go," shrugged Harry.

The look of relief on her face made the whole thing comical. Clearly she expected to see the heads of muggles in the bags.

"Very well. If they can fit in your trunks you may bring them."

"May I ma'am?" asked Isis.

"You must be the transfer. I am Professor McGonagall."

"Isis."

Isis cast a simple charm to shrink and make the books feather light. Later she would give them both expandable bags.

Needless to say once Hermione heard how her present caused them to raid the nearest bookstore she immediately agreed to be their alibi in exchange for lending her a few fiction books.

Say what you will about the Hogwarts Library (and the harder to get in one in the Ravenclaw Tower) but while it has almost everything on magic, you would be hard pressed to find a good science fiction novel to save your life.

(Loki found himself the proud owner of a very interesting racketeering operation involving Harry's owl and several muggleborn owned bookstores.)

* * *

Loki and Harry, but mutual consensus, transfigured their third rate copies of Lockhart's book into pillows and doled them out. It was agreed by every male in the castle that that was the most use they would ever have of the books, to the ire of the Ravenclaws.

(Particularly Hermione, until Loki cheerfully pointed out that said books could easily be turned back, and this way they were less inclined to burn them. Sadly this only convinced the males in Ravenclaw to do the same to the ire of Hermione.)

When Dobby's bludger started to act up, Loki signaled to Harry to land.

The ball, heedless of the fact that the game had been placed in time out, went after Harry anyway. Loki was quick to whip out his wand and yell a particularly difficult hex that caused the bludger to fall into dust.

Silenced reigned in the stadium. Then Sirius appeared with the headmaster. Lucius could care less about his son, since Draco had gotten sorted into Gryffindor instead of Slytherin.

That dislike was clearly shared, since Draco had no issues of dropping what the boys in Gryffindor called 'Banshee Bombs'.

(The twins would send a 'BB' at their mother every time she sent a howler their way for their pranks. It was a win-win, particularly when Arthur wised up to the hint and got Molly to stop. Who knew the ghoul in the attic had banshee in it's makeup?)

* * *

Lockhart clearly had yet to learn his lesson in regards to Loki and Harry. The one time he tried to rope them in an demonstration, Loki hit a certain note after giving Harry a subtle jab. Harry quickly cover his ears.

The boys, after dealing with Loki for almost an entire year, took the hint and covered theirs in time. The girls almost didn't make it.

Loki grinned as he hit the one note most people couldn't without an instrument.

A note so infamous that anyone would recognize it for the effects. (If you're a true fan of _South Park_ you will recognize the episode I am referring to next.)

Two seconds after unleashing the dreaded 'brown noise', Lockhart shit himself. The longer he hit it, the more Lockhart kept trying to back towards the door to his room. Finally Loki let it go, and Lockhart was gone. He had given up all attempts of demonstrating anything and had fled.

The entire class filled with laughter, except for the females who were giving him looks of disapproval.

"What the bloody hell was that?" asked Harry.

"My banshee like voice has a benefit of allowing me to hit what the Americans call the _brown noise. _You should have seen the chaos that note caused my guardians!" said Loki with glee.

"Brown noise?" asked Draco with trepidation.

"Brown noise, a note or pitch that causes anyone within hearing range to loosen their bowels upon hearing. I wasn't aware anyone could hit that with their vocal cords," frowned Hermione.

Loki smirked.

"It seems the only advantage to having the singing voice to put a banshee to shame is the ability to make people shit themselves on queue."

The girls all groaned while the boys grinned. Time for some payback.

After that, it became common for the Gryffindor boys to carry muggle ear plugs around their necks. When asked why, they had Loki demonstrate with a grin that wouldn't melt butter. The girls were out for blood after that.

Snape took one look at the state of the Slytherin robes, and guessed the cause with a groan.

"Dammit, don't tell me you inherited 'that' from your father as well!" he growled.

"Inherited what Professor?"

"That damn ability to cause people to loosen their bowels with your bloody voice."

"Oh, you mean this?"

The boys, already used to his mischief, had put their ear plugs in long before Loki finished that sentence. Snape gave him detention and went to change his robes. He was the hero of the Tower that night.

"So let me get this straight. Nick invited you to a Death Day party?" asked Loki.

"Yup. Want to come? Hermione, Draco, and Isis are coming with me."

"Let me have a word with Nicholas first, but sure."

An hour later Loki found Nick and asked him politely if he would also serve food for the living, given the fact that they would most certainly be missing the feast for this. Surprised that he had forgotten about that, Nick agreed to mention that to the elves.

During the feast, Loki rather enjoyed himself. The house elves outdid themselves when Loki casually went into the kitchen and informed them that the 'Great Harry Potter' was going to be at the Death Day party. Dobby had pretty much shown Loki how much Harry was liked by the creatures.

Everything went great (Harry inadvertently used up one of his wishes from Isis by helping Nick in his dream of joining the Headless Hunt. A little subtle genie magic, and Nick's head came completely off to the shock of the Hunt.) until they left the party.

Loki had completely forgotten that Harry was a parselmouth.

Still, he at least kept Harry from getting in trouble by dragging him straight to Gryffindor tower through a secret passage way.


	4. Chapter 4

Sirius walked into St. Mungo's, the same thing he did for the summer since being released from Azkaban. To his sorrow, Harry _and_ Loki both had to join him once it was clear that Harry suffered from severe neglect and Loki showed signs of prolonged dementor exposure.

Sirius did feel bad that they had to spend most of their precious summer going to and from the hospital every week, but he could make it up to them next year. Besides, it went a long way to proving to the old goat that he was a responsible parent.

He did make up for it by having the boys visit with Neville and his grandmother whenever they came to see Frank and Alice. Sirius apologized to Augusta about the fact that his deranged cousin and her husband did that to her son and daughter in law.

Luckily Neville seemed to like Loki and Harry, because they got a standing invitation to the Longbottom Manor. So they did accomplish something that summer. Plus Augusta was more than happy to teach Harry about pure blood customs while Neville and Loki worked on their summer homework.

Anna gave him the usual scan and checked off another mark on the list.

"Just another five months and you'll be done."

"Finally! I don't mind the nurses, but the food here sucks!"

Anna grinned at him patiently. She had lost a bet, which meant she had to deal with Sirius every time. Why did she guess wrong on that stupid coin toss? At least Harry and Loki were little angels...well Harry was. Loki was a womanizer in child form.

Sirius never did more than flirt with her, because after their first meeting, she slipped him the foulest potion she could. After hearing his satisfactory bought of gagging, he wisely decided to keep his hands to himself and not on her bum.

The girls still laughed about that one.

After Sirius left, he decided to go pay Remus a visit.

* * *

Harry was between Loki and Draco, both of which were trying to help him with his homework. Once Draco found out about his ability with snakes, and got over his shock, they impressed on Harry how the people viewed the ability itself.

Harry didn't understand why it was considered Dark, but he agreed not to do it publicly again.

After the incident, Harry was being avoided by a good majority of the school. Loki and Draco decided to do something drastic. Once Loki got the reply from Gringotts after sending a sealed vial of Harry's blood, he waited until dinner to announce something to the _entire_ school.

"Everyone! May I have your attention please!" Loki said using the 'sonorus' charm.

The students all looked at him with interest or boredom. Loki was easily the most outspoken boy in Gryffindor, but he was also one of the most popular in the school.

With the attention properly on him, he continued.

"I know over the past few months there have been rumors going around that Harry Potter is the heir of Slytherin. I know that the fact he can snake speak is considered a dark art, and normally you would be correct. But what you don't know is that Harry is _not,_ I repeat, _NOT_ related to Slytherin at all!"

Now their attention was solely on Loki.

"I have here in my hand a blood relation scroll fresh from Gringotts. Last week I sent a sealed vial to the goblins and requested a blood test. And I am here to tell you now that Harry Potter isn't related to Slytherin... He is the Heir of Gryffindor! If you want copies, I can sell them for a knut, but the enchantment will end at midnight for the copies."

Loki ended up making over fifty galleons selling the copies of the scroll, and by that time people quit avoiding Harry. If anything it made him more famous among his peers.

Harry, on the other hand, had his head in his hands. He _hated_ the spotlight and it was only going to get worse now!

"Why did you do that?"

"Look, the more people look down on you for a lie, the harder it will be later on. If people know you're the heir of Gryffindor, it gives you more political clout when you reach 17 and opens more doors. If anything this is a good time to make new allies if you ever want to go into politics."

"BUT I DON'T WANT TO GO INTO POLITICS!" Harry nearly screamed.

"Harry, if you went into politics you could make a real change in this world. I mean you know Remus right?"

"Uncle Moony? What about him?"

"If you were to say, become Minister, you could get rid of all those laws that make it hard for him to get a job. You could make things better for Squibs, muggleborns and anyone who isn't a pure blood."

"Why would it matter if he was a werewolf? He takes every precaution to keep from hurting others!"

"Pure Bloods fear the dark. As such, they fear anything not human," shrugged Loki.

Draco nodded, as it was an accurate description of the pure blood society.

"Anyway, what are we going to do about the students being attacked? This may very well get worse before it gets any better," said Draco.

"...I may know where the problem is, but I really doubt the teachers will do a damn thing. I mean look at what happened last year! They had a class 7 dangerous artifact on the third floor, and they left defenses a firstie could get through!" said Loki.

The two turned to him.

"How do you know that?" asked Draco finally.

"...I may have caused the Cereberus to back off while I stole it. I sent it back to the original owner explaining what I did, how little time it took and how poor the defenses were. We now have a standing invitation to learn Alchemy from _the_ Nicholas Flamel and his wife."

Draco stared. Nicholas Flamel was one of the most famous alchemists in the world, and by extension a premiere potionsmaster.

"What the bloody hell did Dumbledore have here that was so dangerous?" said Draco in shock.

"Flamel's Sorcerers stone, as in the same thing that had kept them alive for the past few centuries. According to the letter from Flamel, Dumbledore asked to borrow it but never specified why."

"...Can you help me write a letter to him asking for potion advice? Uncle Sev is good, but he can't stand children," asked Draco.

Loki grinned evilly, because this would definitely annoy Severus in a way that the man couldn't revenge prank him for.

"Sure. Mind if I borrow Hedwig Harry?"

"Go for it. Just tell her I said it was okay. She would enjoy the exercise."

What Loki didn't know was that Harry had actually used one of his wishes so he could properly talk to his owl. He had thought long and hard about it, and Isis had told him it was doable, just not often used.

Now Harry could claim he had the magical ability to talk to any animal, not just snakes. If nothing else it might get the rumor mill of his back about being a parselmouth. Besides, he liked animals more than he did humans most days.

* * *

After the little announcement in the Great Hall, people stopped avoiding Harry and started apologizing.

Harry found the change rather refreshing, and his little social group expanding to include the other houses.

Neville, Hermione, Luna (a first year), Fred, George, Blaise Zabini, Daphne Greengrass, Tracy Davies, Lythiel Moon, Sally-Ann Perks, Mandy Brocklehurst, Susan Bones and Hannah Abbot all joined the group after Loki went to them asking if they wanted to join a study group. The rules he set down were reasonable, considering the times.

No blood prejudice. If you can't handle working with the most brilliant of the younger years, then you can study on your own. Houses rivalries stay in the houses. If you don't understand something, speak up and ask for help.

And most importantly, if you had an idea for a prank, don't keep it to yourself unless you plan to use it on someone in the group. Only lighthearted spells allowed.

The twins absolutely _loved _that last rule.

* * *

Christmas showed a drastic change in the Hogwarts houses. Fear had spread because of the attacks, but Loki had set up a schedule for the study group so they would be covered during class. Lockhart had learned the hard way that their group wouldn't bother coming to class, and instead did self study.

To the amusement of the teachers, there were now numerous study groups just to cover defense and potions, and more often than not they were mixed house groups.

Loki had broken new ground by creating a large group of people willing to tolerate each other from every house, and the idea had spread. The Hat couldn't have been more smug about the whole thing, to Dumbledore's annoyance.

On the plus side, grades had never been higher!

On the downside, a good majority of the female population under the age of fifteen still thought Lockhart was a semi-competent teacher, despite several attempts by the males in the castle to prove otherwise.

Loki had taken Harry down to the Chamber with Draco armed with a camera, and they had blown an entire weekend documenting the place.

Much to Loki's relief, there _was_ another entrance...which happened to lead to the Slytherin dorms.

The evil cackles of doom combined with the smirk he had on his face sent shivers down Draco and Harry's spines. Elsewhere Snape's potion vial cracked while he was filling it with a harmless restorative...and he knew that unparalleled DOOM was heading his way.

Loki was curious as to why the basilisk hadn't come out, but he figured it must have been sleeping when they came in.

* * *

Loki stared at the book in awe. It was every boy's wet dream.

The insane cackle he let loose sent shivers down every sane student/teacher/ghost's backs.

"Hehehe...Loki's going to make big _boom_ soon...hehehehe..." said a smirking Loki, rubbing his hands together like some cliché villain.

A week later, after he got a mysterious package from his 'father', every prefect and teacher was waiting for the ball to drop. Somehow, they knew something horrible was about to occur.

* * *

_**BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!**_

The loud explosion shook the castle...and ruptured every pipe in a ten kilometer radius. The glass shattered like so much snow.

"Attention everyone! Due to a rather poorly thought out prank by some mischievous student, the plumbing in the castle will have to be replaced. If we find out the responsible parties, they will be punished appropriately. As a result, all students are asked to brush up on their charms work, since the showers will not be working until the plumbing is fixed. Also, will all prefects please join the teachers in repairing the windows?"

Loki hid a huge grin. Thanks to the ingredients Remus sent him (not knowing that much chemistry, which happened to be the book Loki had read two weeks before) he had effectively canceled classes for at least two weeks.

It gave those taking the NEWTs and OWLs more time to study without worrying about homework.

Though if the Prefects ever knew _he_ was the culprit behind the extra work they now had to do for the next few weeks, they would lynch him without a second thought.

Hermione was on the warpath. Ever since that mysterious explosion, classes had been canceled. To make matters worse, the library had been close to repair the windows! The only thing that kept her from lynching anyone who annoyed her was the fact that the Ravenclaw library was inside the tower, and there weren't any windows to break...though it did take them a few hours to clean up the books.

On top of all that, they had to fumble through using the water charm and heating charm just to take showers! It was going to take weeks to repair the plumbing!

Strangely, the only bathroom _not_ ruined by the explosion was Myrtle's, which meant there was a long, long line of people using it between classes. The teachers had to erect a barrier so the boys and girls could go in peace!

If she ever found out who destroyed the plumbing, they would never find the pieces.

Loki wisely did not say a word about the fact that _he_ was the one to destroy the plumbing...until they left the castle that is. The twins had roared with approval and Draco had to be restrained from strangling him bare handed. Harry's only question was where he found the explosives to pull it off.

Loki whipped out the chemistry book he had bought by mistake during the raid of the bookstore, and the twins eagerly started scanning the pages...only to get lost after five.

He only knew what half the things in the book meant because in a fit of boredom in the original timeline he had hid inside a library and read half the science section. As a result, he was more or less up to speed on muggle science.

Though it had taken him weeks to do it.

* * *

It was during the last physical (which happened to be on Christmas unfortunately) that Harry decided to use another wish, though this time it was for the sake of a friend.

Seeing the look on Neville's face as he visited his parents made Harry more than a little sad for his friend, so he asked Isis if there was any way to heal them. When she told him he would have to use up another wish, he didn't hesitate.

Alice and Frank Longbottom blinked three times, and as if waking up from a daze spoke Augusta's name. Seeing Neville's face light up made the entire thing worth it, as Harry whispered "Merry Christmas Neville..."

The resulting party at the Longbottom Manor a few days later was spoken of for years. Though one of the healers had correctly identified the use of genie magic on the Longbottoms, which cemented Neville's friendship to Harry. It was almost common knowledge that Harry had found a genie bottle that his father got years ago. And had unleashed the occupant.

* * *

"So let me get this straight...because of the fact that Myrtle's bathroom was the _only_ one still working after that failed prank, Snape and McGonagall found out there was a basilisk coming out of the pipes?"

Dean nodded. He was one of the few to stay during the holidays.

"Yeah, apparently Slytherin had placed his Chamber of Secrets in that bathroom, which is why no one ever found it before. I mean who would expect it to be in a _girl's_ bathroom of all places? And Ginny Weasly was caught in possession of a dark artifact, though she isn't going to get into much trouble because the thing was possessing her for the better part of a year," said Seamus.

"So it was the artifact that was the Heir of Slytherin, not Ginny? Weird."

"I heard that they had to send in a team of goblins to capture the snake...and it was over a hundred fifty feet long!" said Parvati.

Loki whistled impressed.

"So what happened to the Chamber?"

"It sealed itself off, at least from the bathroom anyway. So no one has gone back in since New Year's."

"On a completely unrelated note, Neville's parents finally came out of a coma on Christmas. Healer said someone used genie magic on them to heal whatever damage had been done to their minds," said Loki changing the subject.

All eyes were on Harry pointedly and he squirmed.

"For the record, that counts as two years worth of Christmas presents for him," he said finally.

"The Puffs now consider him one of them, and he has unlimited access to their common room," said Loki grinning.

"I heard that Dumbledore is starting to investigate who ruined the pipes," said one of the other Lions.

"It had to be some pretty strong magic, to cause that much damage," said another.

And with that, the rumor mill abounded as to what caused the damage. Unaware that the culprit was feeding fake info to everyone.

* * *

Isis was writing a letter to her clan, and Hedwig was going to deliver it. Harry had given all his close friends permission to borrow her, so long as they let him know about it.

Harry was...a strange human. He was unlike any wizard she had come across before. Unlike regular wizards, who believed themselves to be better than everyone else, Harry was humble and kind. Instead of asking for the usual requests, he surprises her only asking for a relatively small wish and one big one.

She never would have expected him to use up a wish for the sake of another person's happiness. Normally she would have been home by now, but she was actually considering staying a while longer, even if he used up his last wish.

It was rare that a mere human would get a genie's attention, and they were notoriously fickle beings. Quite like the elves before they left in fact.

These next few years would prove interesting indeed...


End file.
